A Success Story

As mentioned in my previous post, I struggle with what I should write about. This week, it was like a light bulb clicked on: I picked the name for my blog for a reason, so I should write about just that. I love visiting with others and learning from and encouraging one another in the areas that we have in common. Therefore, I will be sharing the day to day of my 'exciting' life. :) I hope you enjoy!

My drive for perfection mixed with my cumplusive tendencies can really add stress to my every day life. This past week I was preparring for a sewing class that I was hosting in my home. Opening up my home has been a step for me since I have often felt that it is very small. However, since I know how important having fellowship with friends is in my life, the 'small' feel of my home is not as hindering. Monday and Tuesday, I busily worked on cleaning the house, getting a few supplies, baking some goodies, and mulitiple other activities. My list only seemed to grow instead of shrink, especially when you throw 3 wonderful kids into there :). By Tuesday night, I was pretty sure that I would be up all night. I was standing in the kitchen, looking at my list, exhausted from the day and having had to fight to get the boys in bed, when I let out a deep sigh. I looked around my little house seeing all sorts of 'messes' and looked back to my list. I grabbed a pen and starting marking things off, not because they were done, but because I realized that they weren't important. The 5 baskets of unfolded clean clothes had already sat in the kitchen for 2 or 3 days, so what was 1 more (now 3) stacked nicely, out off sight in our closet. After all, that is what closets are good for, right?

While this may seem like a very simple task to some, it was difficult for me, but what a great weight I felt lifted off my shoulders by simply telling myself that it was OK. I had also hoped to actually complete my project before my 'students' came over, but again, that just wasn't going to happen unless I wanted to stay up later. And besides, that was part of the fun with my friends, working on our aprons together. I had a wonderful day visiting with friends, helping them put together fun aprons, and listening to busy kids playing, without thinking about unaccomplished tasks or feeling exhausted.

This is one small success story for me. Thank you to my friends who shared their time and company with me Wednesday and didn't judge me or my little home!!

Parenting

Here I sit. It is "Nap/Quiet" time in my house. This translates to Raia sleeping peacefully in one room while Mommy tries to ignore the noise and mess being made in the boys' room, where they are supposed to be having quiet time. So as I ignore the noise, I will blog a bit. I haven't written anything lately due to my OCD and feeling like I should have something interesting to write about first. Trying to work past that. So, I was doing my hair this morning and talking to myself in the mirror, (ya, I do that) and I found myself on the topic of parenting so what better to blog about.

Parenting is tough. I can remember back to being a young girl and thinking that all I ever wanted to be was a Mommy. I enjoyed babysitting and even with the occasional bratty child thrown in, I never imagined how tough it would be. Of course, those kids weren't mine 24/7, 365 days a year. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a Mommy and wouldn't trade it for anything, but boy does it take it out of me some days. I mean, I have to be SO consistant and SO patient, especially when it comes to punishment.

Ah, punishment. I do believe in spanking, but as my boys got older, and as I discovered a very strong-willed stubborn side of one son, I discovered a side of me that I didn't like. I never thought that a child laughing at me upon receiving a spanking could enrage me so fast. I hated that feeling. So timeouts it is. I hate timeouts because they make me feel like I am in timeout too. And again, consistancy. I have to stick to it and honestly, sometimes I am just lazy. But, I have gotten better. No threats and NO counting; I don't like the counting thing, personally. Now that the boys are older, I also talk much more with them about privilages and consequences. They know that good behavior is rewarded and that bad choices have consequences. Again, consistancy in making sure I stick to what I say (and Dad too) can be tough, especially on the days where it seems that all they want to do is make bad choices and ignore me all day long!! I have decided to make a list of the common consequences I will use, as I hate having to think on the spur of the moment. And even now, as I have been using this method, I am at a loss as to what really "upsets" the boys enough to be taken away as punishment and for them to actually learn. I feel like they don't even care anymore as to what the consequence will be. And nothing is more frustrating than feeling like they aren't getting it and it seeming like they never will.

Funny story from Christmas day. An aunt of my husband's commented about us being strict parents, as Justin was putting Patrik in timeout. I found this amusing as I don't think of us as strict parents. We simply expect that our kids listen and behave appropriately in their surroundings. I guess it was amusing to his family as he is such a goof a lot of the times.

As I hear the "quiet time" boys getting louder, which will undoubtably wake my peacefully sleeping daughter, I will wrap up with this. I definetly don't expect my kids to be perfect. I have to watch how I react and how I teach them to not make them feel like they need to be perfect. I struggled with that until I "found" myself 3 years ago (a whole story for another time). I will continue to take advice from friends and family who have walked the road and are currently walking the road I am on. I love my kiddos a whole lot and know that one day down the road, I will longingly look back to these days and wish I was only struggling with time-outs. :)

Happy Parenting!!