Finding Strength in Trials

From the time I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mommy. I loved helping in children's ministries and babysitting. I dreamed about the day when I would marry my prince and we would start a family of our own.

I remember health class. I remember having Sex Ed. I understood how babies come to be (FYI: not the stork). So, when Justin and I decided we were ready to add a baby to our lives, I just expected it to happen. And it did. We excitedly told everyone! Then I was at work, and things didn't seem right. I called my mother-in-love, went home early, and spent the next few days curled up in bed.

I don't remember learning about Miscarriages. I don't remember learning about any difficulties for that matter. As other friends around us got pregnant, my heart would cry.

We tried again. The stick said YES! We were more reserved with who we told. I am glad we were. 7 years ago today, I had my 2nd miscarriage. 2 within 6 months. So many emotions; confused, sad, angry, jealous. I hadn't done so after my first, but I chose names for my angel babies. Arin and Jese.

I have since been blessed with 3 beautiful and healthy babies. And I know I am blessed. I have many friends who have experienced the same pain and more. My heart aches for them.

Through each of my miscarriages, and pretty much all trials in my life, this song breaks me and encourages me at the same time. I would play it on repeat and just sob. Trying to truly believe the words in the dark times. I love that I would hear it when I needed to, whether in the car on the radio or during worship at a church.

How Great Is Our God! And since I grew up with the hymns, I love this version.

I am so thankful that no matter what, He is waiting with open arms for me.

The Song That Never Ends

What song did you think of when you read the title of this blog? For me, it isn't the 'traditional' one that actually contains those words. No, the song I am thinking of is the one I heard on the radio during the 'retro' lunch hour, which sparked this whole Musical May idea. 

Back in high school, there was a guy in my class named James. James liked this song. I mean, he really liked this song. He would sing it ALL. THE. TIME. It drove me crazy! 

Crazy? 

I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A white room. A white room with padded walls. It drove me CRAZY!! Crazy?....

Flashback moment. Sorry. One day in class, James was singing the song. Mind you, this song had a all the pieces needed to ensure it would be stuck in your head all day; a catchy beat and a simple phrase. One simple phrase that repeats, over and over and over and over and over and .... OK, a couple words change. 

Back to class. James was singing. Being the studious student I was, I just wanted to work in quiet, or at least hear a new song. So, I did what any sweet gal would do. I sang back. "Funk Soul Brother SHUT YOUR MOUTH NOW!!" Nice, right! Super creative I might add. :)

Yeah, you will see me bop along if this song is playing (it does have that catchy beat after all), but I can't sing along without including my clever line. ;)