The Wind is A Blowing

If nothing ever changes then nothing ever changes.

Change is always happening. The world is constantly changing. The seasons change. We Change. It is an inevitable part of life and sometimes a hard thing to accept or process.

This is true for me as I looked back over my blog to find 2 earlier posts talking about Change, here and here. I know I have sat down many times to write a blog and it centered around change so I didn't finish it. Even now, I feel like it may be repetitive. BUT .. this is where I am.

I truly believe I have gotten better at dealing with change. Even if only a little bit. As I think back over the past year, I can recall a wide variety of transitions in our lives; some small, some big. I definitely have worked hard on having faith and looking optimistically at the situation. This is partly due to my boys getting older and seeing how much my actions and emotions are shaping them. And, well, it really does alleviate stress, which feels good.

In the past 2 weeks, a big gust of wind blew in some changes. It was quick and left me feeling a bit out of sorts as I worked to process it all. At first, I tried to tell myself that I wasn't stressing about it, but that is a lie. You see, when life throws change at me, my instinct is to start grabbing hold of the things I can control (or that I think I can control). Change often means I have to let go of something or takes me outside of my comfort zone, which can lead to me feeling like my world is spinning out of control.

Control. Another 'C' word that I struggle with. It is often how I realize something is stressing me out. My OCD starts rising to the surface and the more chaotic my life seems to be, the more I try to control. A vicious cycle that generally results in a not so pretty break down. I am learning to see the signs earlier, to talk or write out my emotions (usually both), and ultimately work on ending this cycle. I'm not perfect and I don't have it all figured out, but I do believe the first step is always recognizing and admitting the struggle.

Here I sit. A whirlwind of possibilities swirling in my head. The winds of change are still blowing. I'm scared. I'm excited. I choose to trust. To be positive. To live each day as it comes and not let the winds blow me into the 'what-ifs' of tomorrow.

Life is Change. Growth is Optional. Choose Wisely.