Parenting

Here I sit. It is "Nap/Quiet" time in my house. This translates to Raia sleeping peacefully in one room while Mommy tries to ignore the noise and mess being made in the boys' room, where they are supposed to be having quiet time. So as I ignore the noise, I will blog a bit. I haven't written anything lately due to my OCD and feeling like I should have something interesting to write about first. Trying to work past that. So, I was doing my hair this morning and talking to myself in the mirror, (ya, I do that) and I found myself on the topic of parenting so what better to blog about.

Parenting is tough. I can remember back to being a young girl and thinking that all I ever wanted to be was a Mommy. I enjoyed babysitting and even with the occasional bratty child thrown in, I never imagined how tough it would be. Of course, those kids weren't mine 24/7, 365 days a year. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a Mommy and wouldn't trade it for anything, but boy does it take it out of me some days. I mean, I have to be SO consistant and SO patient, especially when it comes to punishment.

Ah, punishment. I do believe in spanking, but as my boys got older, and as I discovered a very strong-willed stubborn side of one son, I discovered a side of me that I didn't like. I never thought that a child laughing at me upon receiving a spanking could enrage me so fast. I hated that feeling. So timeouts it is. I hate timeouts because they make me feel like I am in timeout too. And again, consistancy. I have to stick to it and honestly, sometimes I am just lazy. But, I have gotten better. No threats and NO counting; I don't like the counting thing, personally. Now that the boys are older, I also talk much more with them about privilages and consequences. They know that good behavior is rewarded and that bad choices have consequences. Again, consistancy in making sure I stick to what I say (and Dad too) can be tough, especially on the days where it seems that all they want to do is make bad choices and ignore me all day long!! I have decided to make a list of the common consequences I will use, as I hate having to think on the spur of the moment. And even now, as I have been using this method, I am at a loss as to what really "upsets" the boys enough to be taken away as punishment and for them to actually learn. I feel like they don't even care anymore as to what the consequence will be. And nothing is more frustrating than feeling like they aren't getting it and it seeming like they never will.

Funny story from Christmas day. An aunt of my husband's commented about us being strict parents, as Justin was putting Patrik in timeout. I found this amusing as I don't think of us as strict parents. We simply expect that our kids listen and behave appropriately in their surroundings. I guess it was amusing to his family as he is such a goof a lot of the times.

As I hear the "quiet time" boys getting louder, which will undoubtably wake my peacefully sleeping daughter, I will wrap up with this. I definetly don't expect my kids to be perfect. I have to watch how I react and how I teach them to not make them feel like they need to be perfect. I struggled with that until I "found" myself 3 years ago (a whole story for another time). I will continue to take advice from friends and family who have walked the road and are currently walking the road I am on. I love my kiddos a whole lot and know that one day down the road, I will longingly look back to these days and wish I was only struggling with time-outs. :)

Happy Parenting!!

Change

Change. It is a part of life whether we want to accept it or not. I am quite fond of change, most of the time. It is the time of year when colors change and the cold sets in and in turn, I enjoy the fun of having my hair a darker shade of red. Following my ambitions of the start of my new year, this week has brought change to our home, as I have been re-organizing rooms and clearing out trash. I am setting up an area for my sewing creations to take form, yet be easily stored come dinner time :). I love re-organizing! My boys followed me around yesterday asking why "everything" is different, as my re-organization spilled into their playroom. I told them that change is good and makes things feel new. They of course agreed with me cause they are still young enough to do that. :)

While I was moving furniture around and cleaning up dust bunnies, I thought about how easy it is for us to avoid change because we don't want to believe that it will be better. As I mentioned a bit in my first post, I have been enjoying my personal pitty parties. For me, they are most often centered around finances. I had been feeling frustrated about the sacrifice I made in returning to work last year and the time I had lost with my boys because I was having a hard time seeing how it had helped us. With the arrival of our beautiful little girl and me returning to my favorite job of full-time mommy, finances quickly became tight. I won't lie; I chose to direct my anger and frustration at God (again) and was just plain sick of trying to have faith that it was okay and that He would provide.

Through out this time, we were getting involved with a small group again and as a group had been working on what we wanted to study. The decision was on the book of Matthew. At our first meeting study meeting at the beginning of this month, we began discussing the introduction to Matthew, which I had unfortuneatly not prepared for. Guess what? There is a lot of talk of having Faith! I couldn't help but laugh a bit inside as I do find the ways God has pulled me back to him quite funny at times. Apparently I am very much like the strong-willed stubborn people in the Bible and need to be constantly reminded to keep the Faith. I am certain this will be a good study for me and that I had better keep up with the "homework." :)

So, I chose to let go of the bitterness inside and step out in faith in not only my new business venture, but also with our finances. Wouldn't you know, the morning of My New Year, changes occured at Justin's work that got him a promotion and a raise. That was the best birthday news and my own personal reminder from God that He is watching out for us!

Change is good; Change is hard; But Change is often needed to keep us moving forward. I love Change .. Most the time!!